The toxicity of a workplace may be too severe to manage effectively. Evaluate how the toxic environment is affecting your mental health, job performance, satisfaction, and overall wellbeing. If the negative impact outweighs any potential benefits, it may be time to reconsider your options, writes Barbara Selmer Hansen.
In a perfect world, every workplace would be harmonious with colleagues getting along, supporting, empowering, and inspiring each other. Unfortunately, the reality can be very different, with many of us working with at least a few toxic personalities at some point in our careers. Unfortunately, these individuals often have a negative impact on our job satisfaction, can reduce our productivity, increase absenteeism, and even impact our mental health. However, by adopting certain strategies, it is possible to navigate this minefield and maintain a positive work experience.
Understanding toxicity in the workplace
Toxic personalities can take many different forms, and recognising these behaviours early on is the first step in addressing the issue. Some individuals may be overly aggressive, such as those who frequently criticise others, shout, gossip, or exhibit bullying behaviour. This aggression can create a hostile work environment and instil fear among colleagues. Others might engage in subtle manipulation or passive-aggressive behaviour, which can be equally damaging but harder to detect. For example, a toxic individual may spread rumours, sabotage others' work, or give backhanded compliments that undermine their colleagues.
Additionally, some toxic personalities demonstrate controlling behaviour, micromanaging their colleagues or withhold important information to maintain power and control. They might also play the victim, deflect responsibility, and blame others for their mistakes. This type of behaviour can erode trust within a team and create barriers for collaboration. Another common trait of toxic personalities is the lack of accountability. They may refuse to acknowledge their mistakes; shift blame onto others or make excuses for their behaviour. This lack of accountability can also lead to resentment and frustration among team members.
It is important to note that toxic behaviour can come from any level within an organisation, from colleagues, even managers and right up to the CEO. Regardless of their position, toxic individuals can have a significant negative impact on the overall work environment. By understanding the various forms of toxicity and recognising these behaviours early on, you can take proactive steps to address the issue and protect yourself from its harmful effects.
Prioritising self-care
Dealing with toxicity is challenging; therefore, engaging in physical activity is a great way to relieve stress and improve your mood. Whether it’s going to the gym, doing yoga, or going for a walk in the park, do activities that you enjoy. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, drawing or journaling are also great ways to relax and manage stress. Ensure you have a clear separation between your work and your personal life by maintaining a healthy work/life balance.
Set boundaries for work hours and make time for your hobbies, family and friends and relaxation. If you’re struggling to cope, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and techniques to manage stress and monitor your emotional wellbeing. Prioritising self-care is essential to maintaining resilience and wellbeing.
Setting boundaries
One of the most effective ways to deal with toxic personalities is to set clear boundaries. This involves defining what behaviours are acceptable and what are not. It is important to communicate these boundaries clearly and consistently. For example, if you need uninterrupted time to focus on a task, you might say, “I need some uninterrupted time to focus on this task. Let’s schedule a time to discuss this later.” If you are stepping out for a break, you could say, “I’m stepping out for a break to clear my head. Can we continue this conversation when I get back?” When handling disrespectful comments, you might respond with, “I find that comment unhelpful. Let’s keep our conversation respectful,” or “Please speak to me with the same courtesy and respect you would expect.”
When dealing with interruptions, you can say, “I’d appreciate it if you could let me finish my point before you respond,” When managing workloads, you can set boundaries by saying, “I have a lot on my plate at the moment. Can we prioritise which tasks need my attention first?” or “I’m unable to take on additional work right now. Can we discuss alternative solutions or extend the deadline?”
When addressing passive-aggressive behaviour, you might state, “I notice that your tone seems tense. Is there something specific you’d like to address directly?” or “Let’s be clear and direct with our professional feedback to avoid misunderstandings.”
Maintaining professionalism
It can be tempting to react emotionally to toxic behaviour, but maintaining professionalism is critical. Staying composed in stressful situations is one way to demonstrate professionalism. For instance, you might say, “I understand you’re upset, but let's discuss this calmly and find a solution together,” or “I appreciate your passion, but let's keep our conversation productive and focused.” Avoiding gossip is another important aspect. You can redirect conversations by stating, “I prefer not to discuss colleagues when they’re not present. Let’s keep our conversation professional.”
Responding to criticism constructively also shows professionalism. When receiving feedback, you might say, “Thank you for your feedback. I’ll take it into consideration and see how I can improve,” or “I appreciate your input. Let’s work together to address any concerns you have.” Staying focused on tasks is essential for maintaining productivity.
De-escalating conflicts is another key component of professionalism. If a conversation becomes heated, you might suggest, “Let’s take a moment to step back and cool off before we continue this discussion,” or “I think we’re both getting a bit heated. How about we revisit this later with a clearer mind?” Handling unfair criticism or blame requires a balanced approach. You could respond by saying, “I don’t believe that’s an accurate representation of the situation. Let’s review the facts together,” or “I’m open to feedback, but I think it’s important to discuss this respectfully and fairly.”
If you believe the conversation is unproductive, you may consider saying, “Given that we can’t seem to agree, let’s meet with HR or X Manager so we can find workable solutions more collaboratively”.
Documentation
Keeping a record of toxic behaviour is an essential step in addressing the issue, especially if you need to escalate it to HR or management. Documentation serves as evidence and provides a clear picture of the extent of the problem. When documenting incidents, it's important to be as detailed and specific as possible. Include the date, time, location, and a description of the behaviour or incident. Also, note the individuals involved and any witnesses who were present. For example, if a colleague made an inappropriate comment during a meeting, record the exact words used and the context in which they were said.
If there were any subsequent actions or responses, document those as well. This comprehensive record helps to establish a pattern of behaviour and can strengthen your case when seeking a resolution. Remember to keep your documentation factual and objective, avoiding any emotional language or personal opinions. This will ensure that your records are credible and professional.
Seeking support
Dealing with toxic personalities can be extremely stressful and can take its toll on your wellbeing and your job satisfaction, so it’s important to seek support from family or friends. A third-party perspective can offer valuable insights and help you develop strategies to manage the situation. If you feel comfortable, discuss the issue with your manager. They may be able to intervene, provide guidance, or mediate a resolution. HR is there to ensure a safe and respectful work environment. If the toxic behaviour persists, escalate the issue to HR. They can initiate formal investigations and take appropriate actions.
If the situation is affecting your mental health, consider seeking support from a counsellor or your GP or your Employee Assistance Program provider if your employer offers one. They can provide coping strategies and emotional support during particularly stressful times.
Remember, you don’t have to face toxic behaviour alone. Seeking support can help you feel more empowered and equip you with the coping strategies you need to navigate the working relationship.
Focusing on solutions
Instead of dwelling on the negative behaviour, focus on finding constructive solutions. One approach is to arrange a meeting with the individual to discuss your concerns. Approach the conversation with a focus on finding common ground and resolving the issue. When addressing the behaviour, use "I" statements to express how it affects you.
For example, you might say, “I feel undermined when you interrupt me during meetings.” Propose compromises that can help improve the working relationship, such as agreeing on specific times for discussions to avoid interruptions during focused work periods. After the initial discussion, follow up to assess progress and make adjustments as needed. This demonstrates your commitment to resolving the issue and maintaining a positive work environment.
By focusing on solutions, you can mitigate the impact of toxicity and foster a more collaborative environment. You can either try this approach on your own first or involve your manager or HR if you need support.
Knowing when to walk away
In some cases, the toxicity of a workplace may be too severe to manage effectively. Evaluate how the toxic environment is affecting your mental health, job performance, satisfaction, and overall wellbeing. If the negative impact outweighs any potential benefits, it may be time to reconsider your options. If the toxic behaviour is persistent and shows no signs of improvement despite your efforts to address it, this may indicate a deeply ingrained issue within the organisation.
Reflect on whether staying in the toxic environment aligns with your long-term career goals. If the situation is hindering your professional growth and development, finding a healthier workplace may be a better option. Consider whether management and HR are responsive and supportive in addressing the toxic behaviour. If you feel your concerns are dismissed or unresolved, it may indicate a lack of commitment to creating a positive work environment.
Trust your instincts. If you consistently feel drained, unappreciated, or unhappy in your workplace, it’s important to take action to protect your wellbeing. Deciding to leave a toxic workplace can be difficult, but your mental health and happiness should always come first. Exploring new opportunities can lead to a more fulfilling and supportive work environment.
Dealing with toxic personalities in the workplace is undoubtedly challenging, but it is possible to navigate these situations with the right strategies. By setting boundaries, maintaining professionalism, documenting incidents, seeking support, focusing on solutions, prioritising self-care, and knowing when to walk away, you can protect yourself from the detrimental effects of toxic behaviour.
Remember, you deserve a workplace where you feel respected and valued. If the situation becomes unbearable, don’t hesitate to explore other opportunities that offer a healthier and more supportive environment.
Barbara Selmer Hansen is the Director of Impact Business Consulting.
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